My Graveyard

Yesterday while traveling to a friend’s house, driving about 5 mph and almost finishing making a left-hand turn (we’d just been at a stop sign of a four-way intersection), a motorcyclist slammed into the side of our car.
He wasn’t hurt and a small piece of plastic (a little bigger than the size of a 6″ sub) of his bike broke off.
We weren’t hurt, but he dented the side of our car quite a bit, the drivers side mirror came mostly off (the case is cracked, but the inside bits kept it from falling completely off) and scratched the hell out of the paint from end to end (and even the hood some how).
He said he didn’t see our blinker until it was too late (of course, if he’d stopped at the stop sign…) and then in panic leaned hard to his left, pretty much throwing the lower portion of the bike into our car (but sparing him injury).
Though parts of his bike were held together by masking tape, which doesn’t make me feel real good about his driving ability to start with.

I’m grumpy about this because the accident was completely avoidable.

Gravity has been trying to soothe me by reminding me the accident could have been a lot worse.
Yes, it could have been.  He could’ve been hurt, or we could have been hurt, or we all could’ve been hurt.  We could have not been there at all (good for us), but that street is almost always filled with children at play and he could’ve hit one of them while tearing down the street (if he can’t see a car, how could he have seen a little kid?) and that would’ve been really bad.

So tonight and tomorrow our car will get looked at for full assessment of damage and estimate of repair.  It seems like it’s all cosmetic, which is good; but some thing’s “off” with the driver’s side door (it makes a funny noise when it shuts, but it does shut) and the seal on it doesn’t hit right anymore (you hear lots of air blowing in as you drive around) and that concerns me a little bit.  The worst dent is sunk in far enough it just about touches some frame work that connects to the axle, so we need to make sure that area is OK too.

Anyway, concerned family & friends, here’s a couple pictures of our poor car, which now has body work on the list of repairs it needs:

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Mini-update:
We had my step-father glance over the car last night and he confirmed that all the damage is cosmetic (though he calls it “non-mechanical”).  Our car’s wish list now contains: a new door, a rear-quarter panel and a lot of paint repair.  He said it would be possible to bang out the dents on the door and the panel, but it would never look as good as it used too and estimates to get it fixed properly would cost more than the car’s value.  I thought that was crazy, but when I was going over the condition quiz at the Kelley Blue Book site, I found it wasn’t as far a stretch as I had thought.  Most of the “strikes” against our little car were present in it when we bought it though, so at least it’s not something we did to it.  It was either there, or just a sign of older vehicle (and maybe time to buy a new set of tires).
Tonight we go and get the estimate for repair from the appointed garage.

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Additional mini-update:
Last night we were able to meet the guy who should be doing the repairs on the car.  We don’t have an estimate yet because he’s calling around to see if he can get a door and a rear quarter panel to replace the busted up ones (obviously slapping on replacement pieces will be less time consuming and cheaper than him having to bang the dents out).  We should hear from him today or tomorrow about that and he’s hopeful he can get the parts and get us fixed up sometime next week.  Yay!
The mechanic was actually really nice and seems very honest (yay for that), but I don’t think he’s used to talking shop with a couple of chicks and having them understand him (it probably didn’t help Gravity was wearing one of her dressier work outfits, but we had to go straight after she got out).  I think he honestly thought we were going to pitch a fit when he said the replacement door might be a different color than our car, he was pleasantly surprised when we told him that wasn’t an issue.  I don’t expect miracles with out of production cars, neither should other people!
I’m also hoping he can just switch out the parts so we can have to work done as a while-we-wait thing instead of a keeps-the-car-for-a-day-or-two thing.  There is a loaner car available (a respectable Chevrolet Cavalier [also out of production I'm sorry to say]), but I’d rather have mine.  =)  There’s definitely something to be said for your own car and knowing all it’s ins and outs.

Last weekend, my mother called to confirm my address so she could send me a check in time for my birthday.  This is odd because my mother mails me something once a week and I’m pretty sure she knows the address.  What she really called to tell me she wanted me to spend my birthday money on a treat for myself (not use it to pay bills or buy groceries or anything) and for myself alone (do not buy something for my wife or something I could share with my wife).  My mom doesn’t understand a few basic concepts:

• When you give someone something, it becomes their something and it is theirs to do with as they please.  If they want to keep it, redecorate it, sell it, toss it- it’s their choice, not hers.  I’m not saying I always redecorate, sell or toss what she gives me, but I do think the option should be mine.  If I choose to keep it, I shouldn’t have to keep it out on display either; but she will look for whatever it is the next several times she comes over; or if it’s clothing she expects me to wear it the next several times she sees me.
• When someone has a spouse, it’s a natural way to be to want to share things with them.  You share your home space, you share the chores, you share dinner, you share your time, sometimes you share clothes, you share the news of your day, you share a bed, you share a car (sometimes), you share animals & children you may have, you share the bills, you share the good times and share the bad times too.  There’s nothing wrong with buying a DVD (or something) you both would like instead of one just yourself would like.  Isn’t is better to share some time watching that DVD together, than having to watch the DVD just you like when your partner is in the other room, or at work?  I think it is, maybe that’s me.
• It’s more important to keep food on the table and the utilities on than to go out to a movie, out to dinner, buy a toy, picture, camera, DVD, video game, a favorite treat, porn, a collector’s plate or whatever personal indulgence you please.  If you don’t have lights, heat, water, a roof over your head and something to eat; what good does that paddle ball do you?  None.  Of course, my mom has always been the sort who would rather have her knick-knacks than some of those things.  Buy that limited edition replica of the necklace worn by Kate Winslet in Titanic than pay her rent this month?  Sure!  And what good did the silly necklace do her when she got evicted because it wasn’t the first time she put off rent to buy pleasure items?  Dumb, dumb, dumb.

This annoyed me to start with, but I figured it doesn’t really matter because once I have the check it’s mine to spend as I please, no matter what my mother says.  I’ve been through this discussion beforehand with her and I know it’s better to lie about what I bought with it to avoid the argument.  I think it’s kindof a terrible way to be, but if I explained it to her again, she still wouldn’t understand.
When the check got here written inside of the card in big letters was: BUY SOMETHING JUST FOR YOU!  She called to tell me how to spend the money and then she wrote it again in the card.
But you know, this is my mom and this is how she is and I’m somewhat used to it.  Every once and a while she’ll do something extra unkind/stupid and I won’t see it coming, and once in a great while she’ll do something really nice too and I won’t see that coming either.  Telling me to spend the money on “just me” isn’t out of the way for her.  What happened last night IS new and probably a new level of thoughtlessness:
When she called to wish me a happy birthday (a week after she mailed me the check, saying it was only a little and what she could afford [$30] and that she was sorry it wasn’t more [and to spend it only on myself, of course])- after I’d spent the money (not on frivolities, but on groceries) and I have told her the money was gone; she tells me that yesterday she had to borrow “an awful lot of money” from my (not rich, but very kind) uncle so she could buy groceries and my Grandmother’s medicines for the week.
Obviously she couldn’t afford to send me the $30 and it would have paid for most of my Grandmother’s medicines this week.
I hate to be so angsty, but I want to let out a long string of the worst vulgarities you’ve ever heard.  I feel abysmal that I already cashed the check so I can’t just tear it up.  I had pointedly asked her if she really could afford to send me the money when she called and she told me she could.  She lied.  It’s not the first time she’s lied and I doubt it will be the last, but geez!  She gave away money she & my Grandmother needed.  What would have happened if my uncle didn’t have that money to spare?  (I’m not even sure how “spare” it was.)  I guess my mother didn’t consider that. 
I can’t wait to find out what’s going to happen come Christmas time when my mom starts running short because she can’t bear to just wish someone a nice holiday without including $50 with the card.  How’s my Grandmother going to get her medicines then?  Here’s something, I want my Grandmother for Christmas, so my mom had better damn well spend money on my Grandmother’s medicines before she starts buying shiny crap or writing checks to give away.

tor7861, let’s have a quick & very frank chat shall we? I am deleting yuour comments for a reason. They say “Awesome!” It somehow seems neither appropriate nor is it adding to the conversation of my blog. Your comments are not being “accidentally” deleted. I have purposefully done it each of the 3 times you’ve added it now. Get the hint, my friend. I don’t want it there.

Blog.com hasn’t got a keen way for me to block your individual comments, yet, though I have requested them to. Until they implement such a thing, I am going to keep deleting your “Awesome!”

I am sure you’re going around trying to tag as many blogs as you can with your comment. I have seen it on others blogs and they all say the same thing, “Awesome!”

Yeah, that “Awesome!” really added something to that person’s post about how their ferret died. Geez, man, that was outrightly jerkish. It’s “Awesome!” your ferret died, it’s “Awesome!” the vet they went to was going to make them sit in the waiting room while the ferret suffered, it’s “Awesome!” you ended up begging some other vet to just put the little thing down so she’d die quickly. Yeah, that was cool. How sympathetic, dick. You’re not even reading the damn posts, are you?

Well I hope you’re reading this one. You’re comment spamming. KNOCK IT OFF.